"Fitness - if it came in a bottle, everybody would have a great body." - Cher

Did my own personal "iron woman" of sorts today. Too much sin(good food) over the X'mas week, time to work it off before more comes in during new year. Sometimes I wonder if overindulgence is tantamount to crime... lol. Cycled some 15 km from East coast park to Changi beach...and Mavis was wondering where the heck I went. I was just surprised that the sealed construction which blocked off Changi route from ECP was opened, so I decided to venture a bit further...well, maybe more than just a bit. I cycled all the way to Changi airport area and saw aeroplanes landing and taking off...it's the first time I saw huge planes flying, & at such proximity too. Quite a peaceful sight somehow. However, I didn't manage to capture any shots of these planes as they were too fast for me. By the time I reached out to the basket to grab my phone, the planes already disappear from sight. Well, still managed to take some scenic shots whilst cycling (& trying very hard indeed to balance with one hand)








Though I was exhausted after cycling, I felt guilty for indulging in the yummilious black pepper pasta from Swensens at lunch time. So after Mavis drove us all back, I took a short nap and went out for a 6km jog in the evening. There weren't many people in Siglap today as I was jogging past, I knew as I was trying to ogle at some potential cute guys but found none to my dismay.

I find the need to explain why I recently took the siglap route more often than the usual 15 rounds in bedok stadium - Bedok stadium was getting more mundane; the same indian woman with messy hair and body odor (I suspect she's a nutcase) sitting at the stands watching joggers with her eagle-eye (I sometimes am worried my water gets poisoned or spit into cos she always sits really near to where I place my bottle while I go for my run) , the same guy who looked like he's in his mid thirties and suffering from mid-life crisis (he always takes out his top to run and as he runs, he groans and moans akin to what I can sum up as "sex sounds"...as if he was making love to the running track), the same couple; an indian man and his chinese wife who never runs but walks round and round the track from the start of my run to the end of it (which is around 45 mins, I wonder why they had the patience to walk round & round for 45 mins looking at the same scenery, might as well take the siglap route walk, at least they can see some greenery & even hanky-pank if they so desired, i.e., stadium's lighting is too bright for them to hanky-pank without some 30 pairs of eyes staring at them); and the same joker (a PRC) who tried on several attempts to chat me up and gets ignored everytime (that idiot had the audacity to ask me to leave the stadium with him and help him set up an email account...yes, it's weird but true). Thus, I've decided sometimes I should take the siglap route, at least I get to see some fresh faces.

I'm also on a Museli bar dinner diet now, and as I'm typing my blog, my stomach groans loudly. Was inspired by Mavis's speech as we were doing some X'mas dinner dining at Swiss Culture yesterday. She was saying that during her FYP, she weighed a mere 43kgs as she only survived on Museli bars for dinner; "too busy to get proper dinner" - she explained (now she weighs 50kgs but she's 1.64m tall, so it's all good). After her speech, I was inclined to think that a museli bar dinner diet could do me a lot of good, better to lose the weight before I gain any in Sweden. I thus bought 2 boxes of museli bars which could last me for the remaining days till I leave Sg on 14th Jan.

Then again, I'm hitting Timbre again tomorrow and I am already planning to indulge in Midori 7-up, chicken wings and the yummilicious roasted duck pizza. So much for my museli bar diet. Damnit.

"About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm.”- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

Came across an interesting article in Cleo magazine about astrology for the new year, and since it is nearing the end of 2008, I thought it would be fun to see what's in stored for me in 2009. I know many would scoff at the idea of believing in astrology, & perhaps even be cavalier about it, but just for fun, I've decided to share my forecast and maybe arouse your curiousity so you would read up on your own...

Part I: My favourite - Reading between the lines... (I've scanned in my own hand as good measure and credibility)



1: The lines on the middle joint of my thumb forms a perfect eye as seen, thus, my future husband would be an eye candy (a.k.a. tall, dark, handsome & totally irresistible) ...I'm not particular, just bring me Elvin Ng! Now!

2: The heart line. Mine is smooth and not chain-like which means my head rules my heart, and I'm in control of my emotions when it comes to the affairs of the heart. Very true, since I don't trust or fall in love with people easily. Might be lost in the moment initially, but I'll come round. Perhaps my parent's less than savoury marriage made me a lil' guarded, perhaps it takes very little for me to feel put off or disgusted by certain actions or words, or perhaps I haven't found the person who could blow me away (a very hard task as I seriously doubt anyone has any real patience for my idiosyncrasies).

Also, my heart line ends before the mount of Saturn (S) below my middle finger (J is jupiter), which means I'm more concerned about myself than my partner...probably true too. Shite. Lol. Perhaps it's the bias parenting I've received... Mum adopts a detached parenting style (maybe because she had no time to juggle both work and the 3 of us), never questioning our actions or getting overly concerned with how we were turning out. I could disappear for days and she would not even notice (she just thought I came back after she slept and went out before she woke. Serious.) She's simply nonchalant. Silent even. The only time she really yelled her head off was when she found out I had a tattoo and tattooed people made her very uncomfortable (I've since acquired 2 more and she was surprisingly tranquil, I have an inkling that she's using reverse psychology to prevent me from having more). As a result, I do not like to explain my actions to others and I like to be left alone when I want to. It's true in a sense that I don't like people to order me around or teach me how to live my life. When people expects me to do A, I'll do B deliberately just to oppose them...I also don't offer any excuses for axe-ing out or ignoring people, I do that spontaneously, mostly due to reasons unclear even to myself...I'm aberant in this way. But of cos I have a healthy number of people I really care for and I'm absolutely steadfast about being there for them (& I just spontaneously do not act bastardly to them)

3: The lines at this section indicate how many times I would fall in love with someone or the number of relationships. From the looks of it I have 1 deep line and 2 faint ones. Hmm...I have only ever loved 1 person so far (waste of my 10 years), and feel infactuation towards several others (including Keanu, Hugh, Elvin, Johnny, Tom, Ping Hui...opps mostly celebs). Yaya said she doubt that my 1 deep line is he-whom-I-wasted-10-years-for though I insist he is. She said the deep line person hasn't appeared, which on afterthought, was quite comforting somehow.

4: Lower section of my finger. It looks slight plumper than the rest of my finger. This means my partner is in luck as I'm a sensuous lover who thrives best in close physical relationships. LOL. Yet to find out. Tsk tsk.


Part II: The Numbers Game

I'm born on the 20th Oct and after adding 20 + 10 + 2009, I'll have 2039 and then 2 + 3 + 9 = 14 and then 1 + 4 = 5

5 tells me that I'll be travelling for work and would be meeting new people and having many social activities. It also says that 2009 would be a year of experience and freedom. Wow!!!...spot on, since I'm leaving for my Sweden exchange soon for 6 months. But it also says I might be tempted by the desires of the flesh, so I must tread carefully! Omg...hahaha. Rendezvous with the hot swedish guy! LOL!!! I welcome it! Who says I need to tread carefully??!! After all, sometimes it's more exciting to live life on the edge!


Part III: Cards and such

I picked the Fool tarot card, which was super accurate as well. Says that my common ailments relate to those of the ankle and knees (I had sprained both my ankles very badly before) that yoga and healthy food would do me good. It also says my health is likely to improve as I'm always researching on ways to help myself. True as well cos I practice yoga regularly and I've been exercising at least 6 hours a week.


Though many take astrology at face-value, I'll like to think that it lets us understand more about ourselves & perhaps offer us hope during certain times, so, aren't you curious to find out more too?

"She was a spendthrift of the spirit, an American in Paris when, as Evelyn Waugh said, the going was good." - Anatole broyard

I'm officially broke, having spent nearly $800 in 3 days. Just came back from toiletry shopping and I think perhaps a sex change would do me some good. Gerald told me he spent less than $50 on his toiletries...so how the hell did mine come up to $157.80??!! (& these were exclusive of the clinique eyecream, 20 facial sheet masks, hair serum, cotton pads, other pads etc etc!)

I schemingly asked Mavis to help me get the eycream from airport (in the hopes of her offering it as an x'mas gift eventually) and shamelessly asked my mum to get me the BLV perfume for x'mas! Tee hee...these will save me a good $100++! The Mango sale was fanta-bulous as well, managed to get a grunge looking winter jacket for $59 and the coveted trench coat-like jacket for $119!

The grunge one

Being my vain self...lol

The trench coat-like one

Mum needed one during her visit in March as well, so I bought her the grunge jacket in brown as her birthday present, & she said she will leave it behind for me if I want. Haha!

Actually it looks rather similar to the black one

Aunt Joanne whose coming with mum to visit me, bought the white one...so the 3 of us will strut down the streets wearing the same jackets! Luckily I did not let the lady from the winter clothing shop coax me into buying the thick but functional winter coat that costs $280 and made me look like a "ba-chang" (a.k.a meat dumpling). Bought nice leather gloves as well (I'm just not the knitted or fleece type of girl) and a really cute ear muff ($9.90 only and super cute!).

Intended to put the Duo MFA award money to good use but as per usual, I could not resist the sales in Orchard and bought nearly $100 worth of PJs from La Senza.

How could I resist these??!!

The award money is nearly gone now, and with the euro dollar weakening, I think I will only get 8k which was about $400 lesser than I anticipated. After paying for my air tickets, hostel bills (S$600 a month, damn bloody expensive for a small room), insurance, residence permit, toiletries and winter clothings, I only have 2K left... I know mum would prolly lend me money cos she did not want me to owe the bank ("I'll rather let you owe me so you need not pay interest", she offered), but in the last discussion I had with her, she told me in a mock sarcastic/joking manner: " Does my face look like an ATM machine to you?".

I'm also trying to pack my cupboard in anticipation of the thick clothing that will be going in. And as promised, here's a photo of my disgustingly untidy cupboard in which all my clothes had been rolled and thrown in instead of folded.

2/3 of my cupboard with contents spilling out.

The disgusting top section which contain numerous pieces of unfolded miscellaneous stuff including tees, bottoms, socks, shawls etc.

Initially, I thought 2 hours was enough to clear my cupboard, but that madness took me 3hours and I haven't even folded my clothes. I just organised the belt hanger (Yes, I need a multi-layer hanger to hang my belts) and threw out a record-breaking 121 pieces of clothing which I rolled into mini ball-like shape and squeezed into 4 bags.

Belt hanger front-view

Belt hanger back-view

4 bags worth of trash

As Mavis puts it: "Always clear out the clutter from your life", I decided that if the old ones are not going out, new ones can't make their way in. Most of these clothes are too big or passe now anyway, and I intend to stock my cupboard full with H&M after my exchange.

Took some photos of my beloved caps as well:

Nearly added a new one from Ed Hardy into my collection yesterday while shopping in Heeren, but Mitch stopped me after chastising me for being such a spendthrift (bloody hell, she herself bought that bloody tee for 179 bucks...), but it's good that she stopped me, cos I would totally regret bombing 268 bucks on a cap.

Hope thurs comes soon, it's Mum's 49th birthday and Mav had taken the day off. We'll be taking mum for dim sum high tea of some sort and then driving down to pick the luggage Mav bought me...hope it's big enough to contain all the stuff that I'll be bringing. Luckily BA is giving me 46kgs of baggage allowance. Just 1 more month to Lund! Swedish dreaming!

"We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude." - Charles R. Swindoll

I'm inclined to think that sometimes being trapped in the past is not a bad thing after all...the prospect of aging, moving on to new things, giving up the things I currently have etc., can oft times feel rather poignant and revolting (especially the aging part). I'm used to not giving a fuck about anything, thus the fact that I'm graduating soon doesn't seem welcoming somehow.

Anyhows, been listening to a lot of pre-millenium songs recently; some really old school retro-funk (the likes of Bananarama, Debbie Gibson, Abba, Belinda Carlisle, KC and the sunshine band, Carpenters) and those from the 90's as well, also tuning in to power 98 in the late nights when they play some good old music instead of all those pop shite (rihanna just irritate the hell outta me though it's good for clubbing) & during one of those nights, the radio was playing some old songs which I really loved. I immediately dl-ed them and as it had always been a habit of mine, I also did a lyrics and wiki search. Least to say they were songs from the pre-millenium. Everyone should listen to them ---> "Sunny came home", 1996 by Shawn Colvin (love the guitar bridge part), "Runaway train", 1993 by Soul Asylum (Check out the music video on youtube), "Lullaby", 1998 by Shawn Mullins (love, love, love alternative music)...and listening to all these music sets me thinking again...

Do you ever ask yourself, what would it be like if you can go back to the past and live life all over again? What would you had done differently? What are some of the things you would want to change? What are some of the words you have spoken and want to take back? What are some of the relationships you want to salvage/wished they've never happened? Would you have wanted some regrets to not be regrets; would you rather let these regrets remain regrets so as to remember lessons well-learnt? Would you have choosen to relive and rewind some moments; would you have fast-forwarded some?

I, for one, wished I could change fragments of my history. I hope to turn back the specific moments I've had and erase them all. Somehow I don't know why although I am the epitome of impatience, I allow myself to dwell about ... for 10 dreadfully long years...and these years made me feel ancient, old, jaded. To the point that I feel impressed by my patience to commit to these thoughts and never breaking out from them. However, I have ... to thank cos if there is one good thing that came out from this, it is that I realised the importance of exercise and healthy living. I somehow managed to step out of my LSE issues and began to move my lazy arse, & I attribute 60% credit to ... Funny how recently I met someone that reminds me wee bit of ... so wrong, yet quite right. Perhaps I am looking for a glimpse/shadow of ... in ..., yet I refuse this time around to be the victim of this circumstance. Some people hate being a doormat, punching bag; yet they always go back to being one because it feels familiar. I was toying and struggling very hard with this thought, fighting off some invisible force. Then again, I thought about what is in it for me... It seems that nothing good will come out of it, so I snapped out of all of these. As I am closing into my goals and slowly attaining my targets, I am feeling more confident that I can eventually leave certain things behind. I am also becoming more selfish in the sense that in many things, I'm only thinking about my own benefit. Why should my life be built around managing other's expectations and not my own? I am equally entitled to have people who will take all my shite; accept my good as good and bad as good; give me their time of the day; leave me alone when I want to; and love me for who I am/what I am evolving to be.

Have you ever experienced something close to that? Have you ever felt that something/one was holding you back? Do you lack the courage to move on however much you want to?
I can't and do not have the power to steer you in the right direction because I am too, still learning. But what I can say is that we only have 1 life and we are living this life for nobody but ourselves, so although we feel we can have the capacity to love someone much more than ourselves, we should try our best to love ourselves more.

Yes, it might be comforting to dwell in the shadow of your past/memories; but it is more comforting to know that you have the courage to create a new present. :)

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans" - John Lennon

Consolidating my Sweden packing list is such a pain in the arse, but I have got to go through it somehow...After all, it's 1.5 months away. If not, I'll risk not having time to buy or pack stuff I've missed out. So far, I have 9 items for face, 8 for body, 9 for hair, 6 for hands, 10 for make-up, 6 under "vanity", 15 under "misc" and 6 under technology. Clothes are TMTC (too many to count). Need to buy 2 trench coats, a pair of leather gloves (still thinking between black and dark brown), ear muffs (maybe should buy there), a pair of high cut boots that allows me to tuck all my jeans in (buying there), thermal wear (lest I freeze to death), perhaps a good sweater (so I can wear while jogging). So many bloody things to buy because my eye cream, face masks, and many other items had simultaneously choosen to be depleted now....ever wondered why things start depleting when you need them the most??!! Irritation! Still waiting for my MFA award $ to come in before I embark on my winter clothing and beauty supply shopping. Hope the clinique eyecream and kose mask black that I asked Mavis to buy would be offered to me as Xmas gifts from her! I'm also trying my luck to get my mum to "help" me get my favourite Bvlgari perfume and then suggesting that she give it to me as Xmas present instead! That's so scheming...I can't stand myself!

Yaya said the colour of my brows seem to be fading...so I might have to re-tattoo/weave them again before I leave... @ this point I would like to strongly advise all gals to weave or do those non-permanent eyebrow tatt cos I did mine and never once regretted. Before, I had to pluck them into desired shape and shade the missing ends with the eyebrow palette, after I had them semi-tattooed, I wake up everyday with full brows and I only need to pluck strays off. Talk about convenience! Also need to have a hair trim and dye my hair to a dark shade before I leave...my blue/purple/red streaks experiment had faded to the bleached blonde and looks super dry. I was cutting off the dried ends during the exam period whenever I got too stressed. My hair is getting too long and untamed as well...after all I only trim my hair thrice a year, each time only an inch or 2. Was thinking of going short but better not as I do not want people to recoil in horror. I have asked 10 people and ALL of them told me to stick to long hair, so no change for me.

My cupboard also needs some packing. It is in a terrible mess...a hellhole, a war zone...my clothes are rolled and thrown in instead of folded. I'm tempted to take a photo and post it just to scare people. It may take me 2 hours to reorganise them cos of the sheer amount. I wana scream. I sure hope I have the energy to pack tomorrow cos my legs are aching from the 4km run (I stopped for a month to prepare for my exams & today is the official date of me resuming jogging), and I'm meeting SY for gym tomorrow evening. Making full use of my membership before it expires in less than 3 weeks. I'm dreading the end of my gym membership cos I will not be renewing til I come back in july next year and I'll have to make do with jogging alone & I've calculated that I need to jog 4-5 times or the equivalent of 20km a week. No more combat, yoga, pump, sculpt til next july... Perhaps the only thing that makes me slightly happier today is retail therapy and Timbre on fri. I've bought new jogging gear, jeans, shoes, belt and I finally found the tiny mini black ring for my tragus pierce (though that hell of a mini thing cost me 8 bucks and the boy tending the stall severely lacked a sense of humour) / / / / / I suddenly remembered that I forgot to go down to the swedish embassy to collect my permit... and that I haphazardly took up a job for next fri clean forgetting my dental appointment. F**k! I'll need to call Sharon to reschedule of appointment. What a chore!

Why am I so bloody busy? I'm so tired. I need to sleep. Bloody painful legs.