"I'm a foe of moderation, the champion of excess. If I may lift a line from a die-hard whose identity is lost in the shuffle, "I'd rather be strongly wrong than weakly right." - Tallulah Bankhead

A recent bout of extreme Robbie Williams music overload...! Don't know why I suddenly thought about the "She's the one" MTV and I youtubed it. After that I couldn't stop and I did a massive RW music download. Of these, my favourite is "Feel"...struck a cord in my heart somehow. It's like Robbie was singing me (I don't mind Robbie singing to me as well...lol). Don't know why I'm feeling so emo over this, many people would have felt Robbie singing their life stories with this song too. Well... Teehee.



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Leads me to think... How does one stay committed in life, love, an activity or whatever for that matter? Do we actually have enough strength/interest/passion to carry on doing something or are we fixated on the idea that we're capable of committing ourselves to something? Do we try too hard to prove others wrong by doing something or tying ourselves to something we might have already lost zest for just because we want people to think we are doing the right thing? But then is doing something like that right then? Are we being fair to ourselves? (I'm sounding more and more like a cynic that is the very epitome of my mum...*sigh*)

Is it considered selfish if we just want to do something when we feel like it and walk away nonchalantly when we don't feel like it? Is this considered loving ourselves or being self-centered, treating things/others unfairly or preserving our own individualism? Do we really need to be responsible for other people's/thing's well-being other than ourselves? Can we really be like the chinese saying, just 拍拍屁股 jiu zhou? Are we capable of that? Am I capable of that?

Also, is it the habit of us Homo sapiens to upkeep a certain image or behave in a certain manner so that our insecurities can be obscured and that we would seem bigger than we are when we actually feel the exact opposite? I think I've been doing most of the above mentioned for some time now, so first and foremost, I want to attempt to break this trend by doing something randomly unexpected once in a while.

1) I don't pose silly for pictures cos I want to look good in all my photos. BUT, I'm going to try stupid poses once in a while.





2) I don't act crazy in videos and if there's a lame video, I'm usually the one fliming it. BUT now I shall try starring in some of them (instead of victimizing my friends all the time)




Ok, this still involved victimizing my friends to a certain extent...


3) I usually am not keen on doing anything under the sun/going to clautrophobic places or events with lots of people (I'm clautrophobic...believe me on this cos I've never spent more than 7 minutes...ok, maybe 10 minutes, shitting in a loo cubicle, even at home. I'll just wipe my ass and leave the rest for later cos I simply can't spend another minute inside feeling trapped in all those methane and ammonia gases)/going to places that mostly children would feel excited about/enaging in activities that only primary school kids do/doing anything that would make me look super unglam and feel really sticky at the end of the day. BUT I shall try attempting them now and respectively,

- I accepted a "crowd-controller" job at Siloso beach on 18th Oct (Sun! Crowds! Claustrophobia!)
- I went to the zoo & got very excited feeding giraffes on Children's day (their tongues were very long and blue due to evolution, don't ask me why.)



- I sat on the swing in a playground and swung like a mad dog (had a ball of a time...Wondered why I waited so long)
- I walked the Marang Trail to Hort Park route from 230-730 pm nonstop (felt as sticky as chewing gum and looked super unglam @ the end of the day with hair plastered on my wet forehead)




After these, I'll work on the more emo aspect of it all.