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And it was at that time that I thought about Thomas Jefferson writing that Declaration of Independence. Him saying that we have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And I thought about how he knew to put the 'pursuit' in there, like no one can actually have happiness. We can only pursue it. Maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue. And maybe we can actually never have it no matter what. - Will Smith in the movie "The Pursuit of Happyness"

Lunching alone at home is always a boring, if not mundane activity that I seem to engage in a lot nowadays. So, whenever I'm feeling a wee bit bored, I put on a video for some entertainment. Luckily enough for me, Mav recently returned from Thailand with 2 new dvds. One was "The pursuit of Happyness" by Will Smith & the other was "Little children" by Kate Winslet. I had a hard time choosing which is less depressing (cos I wanted to watch a less gloomy one) A tough choice to make, but I finally settled for the Will Smith's one. Of cause, it has always been a habit of mine to analyse parts of the movie after/during my process of watching it because I've got the worst trait in the world --> reading too much into things (even when it is undue/unnecessary/redundant or what you might call it). Then there was this particular part which he was narrating that caught my attention. Thus my brain soon started a process of thought which involved me trying to see light of what he just said, the exact phase quoted above.

Yup, indeed, happiness does seem more like a pursuit than something we could ever truly have. Why do we spend most of our lives trying to be a happier person? I almost never hear someone saying "I aim to achieve bitterness in my life", "I want to be a sad lonely slob", "I feel good when I am filled with hatred". What I think is that human beings ultimately want/crave to be happy, to feel joy, to be loved & accepted (which is admittedly what I am always trying to achieve). But it is not this notion which got me thinking hard. It's rather that: Do we really WANT to be happy?

Happiness is a transient feeling, something that creeps up on you once in a while, elevate you, then leaves you feeling high and dry. A constant need & an insatiable appetite for happiness lead us to always try to pursue it. When we feel happy now, subconsciously, we would feel that we CAN be happier, or some other event would make us even happier. Thus, we give up that isolated moment of happiness all too quickly and start pursuing what we call the forthcoming "high"...Anticipation would be the right word to use since we soon start expecting better things to come, giving up the previous instant of happy feel, making it really an "instant" per se. That's why humans are termed as "higher beings", capable of thought, aware of our surroundings, conscious enough to feel and emote. When we are stimulated to feel happy, an auto response would be a positive feedback of more stimulation --> more happiness, more money. more love. more acceptance. more good grades, more praises. more promotions. more more more more MORE. Thus, it is never enough just to attain something. More accurately put, the thrill comes only from the chase.

By the end of the movie, my attempt at decoding came to a conclusion as summed by this sentence alone: Perhaps the only time we can really feel real happiness is by constantly pursuing it.