Through pride we are ever deceiving ourselves. But deep down below the surface of the average conscience a still, small voice says to us, 'Something is out of tune.' - Carl Jung

Watching (500) Days of Summer got me thinking if attaining self-satisfaction/happiness can ever coexist with developing a conscience. Argued with Mavis that Summer must have been a very self-centered individual to be able to treat Tom like that. Initially Mavis disagreed, as we had many times, in our pre bed-time conversations, talked about the importance of putting personal happiness above others' happiness. I have agreed vehemently with this idea as years of putting others' happiness above my own's had not stood me in good stead. However, I was still uneasy after watching the movie. I just thought Summer could still attain personal satisfaction without the need of hurting someone like that, i.e.; I felt she could develop at least a pinch of conscience.





Then again, whose to say what is right or what is wrong? Perhaps, Summer just does not love Tom. When you don't love a person, you won't need to feel obliged to care for his/her feelings, am I right? Fuck-and-go, instant gratification, first impressions; the very essense our current and very fragile world is made up of. As long as we don't define relationship statuses, we are free agents: Free to hold hands, free to hug, free to engage in mutually consented (mind-blowing) sex, free to do all things coupley...so long as we don't have expectations, we can do anything that pleases us at that moment without caring if there are any broken pieces (of the other party) left to pick up...because we often assume that there will not be broken pieces anyway. In light of all of these, why do I still disagree to agree that Summer is just not a very nice person? & that why do I adopt the thought that personal happiness is more important, yet, still feel sorry for Tom? He was loser-ly and he was an average joe, perhaps that was why Summer could not fall in love with him and he deserved what was coming for him: the disintegration of his core belief that one's true love does exist. I factored in my own beliefs, weighed the rights and wrongs, heck, I even struggled with self-righteousness; ultimately, I still think Summer could have handled the situation better if she had more of a conscience.

I told Mav that there was nothing wrong with how Summer acted. However, the trauma Tom faced could have been made more bearable if Summer had a tad more conscience. We live in an irresponsible world today, where careless words are spoken and feelings are disregarded. There may not be a consensus to all of these, but, if a person do possess at least an ounce of conscience, there might not be broken pieces left to pick up. Finally, Mavis was convinced. We still felt that yes, personal happiness is important, god forbid how many human beings mistreat themselves in the process of making others happy. However, she had to concede to a valid point that I mentioned: Developing/having Conscience. She said that Summer should not have, after breaking up with Tom and knowing full well that he still had residual strong feelings for her, made the conscious decision to dance with him at such an intimacy during their friend's wedding. Yes, she might feel that at that point of time, she just felt like it. But, if that lady at least possessed a bit of a conscience, she could have made a choice not to lead him on, and to make a choice to be considerate to his feelings. It does not hurt, does it? I mean, she could still be very happy if she did not dance with him, or danced but channeled a body language comfortable enough for him to accept that they are just friends now. Why must the pursuit of personal satisfaction/happiness bring with it misery and sadness to others? At last, we both agreed that it takes a real self-centered individual like Summer to be that blind.

Yes, it sure as hell does not make you a horrible person to put yourself above others, afterall, living in this jaded society is reason enough for us to appreciate and love ourselves more. However, if conscience can coexist with our search for this category of happiness, everyone can walk away being winners. After all, every decision to be happy stems from making a choice and nothing is absolute.