"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good" - Woody Allen

I recently talked sex with a few people. By that I don't mean I've engaged in phone sex, online messaging sex or what have you, but rather, I've discussed the issue of sex with a few people whenever this word arises during conversation. Sometimes, it's all in jest & sometimes, it's in all seriousness as we either dispute about our views or explain our stand.

Mavis, my elder sis, & I have broached on this subject more than once & we found our views to be more or less similar. Mitch, my eldest sis (whose 30 this year btw), firmly believes in non pre-marital sex and expects that of her future partner (but in this day and date, how to expect most normal, healthy guys who have come of age to still be virgins??!!). Mavis used to be an avocator of non pre-marital sex but of late, she had changed her stand about such stuff. She had never expected any of her boyfriends (current or in the past) to be virgins, however, she feels that sex should be engaged with someone whom you share an intimate relationship with. "It must be with someone that you know well or long enough (aka trust), like a boyfriend or fiance. At the end of it you must not feel lousy about yourself" - she proclaimed some 2 weeks back as we were talking. "Imagine showing off your most intimate body bits to just any stranger? Especially your fat bits! If these bits moved like jello during sex & the person is someone whose nearly a stranger, won't you feel conscious, insecure or embarrassed? What if he kisses & tells? Yucks!" - I echoed back & she nodded earnestly.
I'll be lying if I tell you that I've never thought about sex or fantasized having sex with some hot guy I saw on tv. However, I have a set of principles that I adhere strongly to which I'll elaborate more later.

Earlier on this evening, I had a small gathering with 4 friends and whilst making our way to the cheesecake cafe, I had a chat with Joseph. Somewhere along the line he talked about his recent date with a girl from my uni whose only 19, but yet have had casual sex with about 3-5 people who were not her boyfriends at any point of time. He also enlightened all of us that one of our secondary schoolmates (a girl whose name I shall not mention) is quite "accessible" aka easily fuck-able per se (I mean, the use of the word "accessible"! To have a person describe you like that...oh man). When I expressed exasperation, he went on to tell me that one of his friends who has a steady girlfriend also has a "fuck-buddy" who herself, has a steady boyfriend. What's so warped about the whole thing was that both their steady boy/girl friends know about the whole "fuck-buddies" business and are perfectly fine with it (are they really? I wondered aloud). He says his friend would perform novel sex positions on his fuck-buddy first before trying them out with his girlfriend. In my mind I was like "oh my god...isn't that over-stepping the border?" I mean, such stuffs are already not that commonplace in the western countries, what more in our more conservative asian societies? I mean I try to respect people's decision on having fuck-buddies or friends with benefits but the basic respect you could give to your steady partner is to a) keep them in the dark, b) keep them in the dark & keep yourself clean from std or c) keep them in the dark and always practice contraception. Arghhhhh....for me, I don't think I'll accept that my boyfriend has a fuck-buddy. He probably be history once I find out cos I'll drop him like a hot potato. What can I not provide that he needs a fuck-buddy??!! (I don't know yet but I am confident of the sexual prowess I can possess)... - To that Mavis shared my sentiments.

It's a sad state of affairs that people nowadays are taking sex so lightly. What happen to the good old days of making love and having sex with someone who really mattered? I had never been against pre-marital sex but to me, sex has to be something meaningful, passionate & loving. I'll have to feel cherished and not walk away feeling lousy about myself! I know I am in no position to berate people about the way they should lead their lives or achieve sexual gratification but I do hope deeply in my heart that people would learn to respect their own bodies. After all, for someone to love you, you should learn to love yourself first. Do the act all you want, but derive pleasure & feel great from it cos it really sucks if you regret everytime you've experienced bad sex.

Call me old-fashioned & conservative. Label me a nun, whatever. But until the day I find someone worth doing this act of love with, I'll remain blissfully a virgin. :)